A Fairfield man has died today after deciding the concerning smoke smell coming from downstairs was not his problem. The man messaged the house group chat however little did he know, nobody was home. Upon frantic housemates telling him this his last words were. “I guess I’ll die then” as he entered his slumber.

Annerley Fire Chief. Azar Amanar was saddened to hear the news. “We are constantly telling people to remain vigilant. Replace the batteries on your fire alarms every 6 months and if you smell fire, don’t fall asleep.” Azar Amnar went on to say that the rise in niche churches to Hephaestus in Annerley that had sprung up might be a contributing factor. “I’m not the religious sort but there is something spooky about the Cult of Hephaestus meeting in the park at night. Chanting for the flames to consume all. We’ve been called out quite a few times to deal with them in the past when things get out of hand however they have all the correct permits for fire worship.

Vesta, a regular at the Cult of Hephaestus’s meetings had this to say. “We always get blamed when these sort of things happen. Why does nobody blame the god of sleep? People are just too comfortable these days. What’s worse, to be sacrificed to the glorious god in the flames or to sleep all day and not do anything with your life? I know what I would rather.

Kresnik another member said he’s not really sure how he got mixed up in all this however the marshmallows are to die for he just can’t bring himself to leave. “I have so many friends here now, without them I would never have survived this long so it must be good for me.” The Annerley Police Chief was not available for comment.

https://imperialgazette.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/12/house-fire-1548280_960_720.jpghttps://imperialgazette.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/12/house-fire-1548280_960_720-150x150.jpgGeneric Journalist.MiscellaneousA Fairfield man has died today after deciding the concerning smoke smell coming from downstairs was not his problem. The man messaged the house group chat however little did he know, nobody was home. Upon frantic housemates telling him this his last words were. “I guess I’ll die then” as he entered his slumber. Annerley...A News Empire You Can Trust.
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